Dewey The Bi Polar Bear stands in for Sidney

Hello porn fans and faggots eveywhere, I am Dewey the Bi Polar Bear. Sidney just got arrested again for taking his weenie out in the playground again so I am reporting for today. Today is National "Run around a porno shop licking the dildos" Day. It was first incorporated in 19 something or other by the famous masturbation expert Ms. Bunnith Marie Paxton-Richardson, who went on to write the famous book "I can play with it if I want to" And "Look Asshole, It's mine so I'm gonna touch it" and formed the "National Masturbation Museum" In Quahog Rhode Island and in South Park Colorado. Bunnith is currently at work playing with herself.
Thank you
Fuck Off

The Sidney Doodlewhacker show for whatever the fuck day this is

Ok, Fuckfaces...I'm back. God Damn store didn't have Old Crow and I only had 9 Motherfucking dollars so I had to get PBR instead. Had to get Mrs. Doodlewhacker a drink and I'm outta smokes and had to buy this weeks "Slammer" to see if my buddies got arrested yet....so I couldn't get no damn porn. Fuckin' liqour store is closed today....Why the fuck?? Is it a Fuckin' Holiday?? Sunday?? What the fuck is so important about Sunday?? Who died and made Sunday so important?? Jesus?? What did Jesus ever do?? Did he ever win a fuckin' medal?? Died onna cross?? Nah...That was all Hollywood....my Grammpa tol' me. He made the fuckin' movie. John Holmes was in it. He fucked Candy Samples titties! I still have the old 8mm somewhere inna old box o porno I keep in my bathroom. I use it to get my little Doodle up so I'se can still pork Mrs. Doodlewhackers nice round butt.
Ok...lets see whats inna news today....
Bunch a shit no one cares about.
Ok....lets look at the weather....
Yep...It's still there
Lets look at sports
A bunch a teams played and some won but some lost
Lets look at celebrity news
Lindsey Lohan is sucking some guy's dick
Madonna is still a whore
Lady GaGa has a penis
And Richard Simmons is still Gay
Lets look at the world of food
It's Expensive
So I go to the Soup Kitchens and save my money for important stuff
Booze,Smokes and Porn
Speakin' o Porn
http://www.somethingweird.com/
Buy stuff or I will send BoBo the Crack Smoking Space Monkey to rape your ass
Fuck you all
Go to hell
Gimme a Dollar
Sidney

Good Morning you Dumb Fucks!

Good Morning all you pud whackers out there. This is your old Uncle Sidney with my Morning Report. You all suck and can all go to hell. Now fuck off while I go shoppin'